Are you a Red Hatter?

Ravelry…what a fun phenomenon!  You can find me, Astrig, as AstrigTanguay (friend me please ;)) and you can find a Fiber College Group too…if you haven’t joined, please do and participate…we’ve started the conversation rolling and eventually the group will be a good conversation/bulletin board for all the users…but I’m drifting off topic.

I belong to a group called Vintage Bitches (for those of us over 40, thank you very much) and there’s recently been a conversation about Red Hatters…you know the poem by now, Warning by Jenny Joseph…well, MamboCat wrote her own version and it made me laugh so hard I just had to share it with you as I knit yet another big sweater…

Happy Sunday from a sunny Spring day in Searsport 🙂

When I am an Old Woman,
I shall wear enormous sweaters
With faded jeans and old roper boots.
And I shall spend my Social Security checks on yarn and cat food
And live entirely on tea, cheese and bread.
I shall sit on the porch on fall evenings,
With my feet propped up on the porch rail
And I shall knit and watch the sun go down
And nibble on chocolate all the while.

When I am an old woman I will spend all the time I want
With cats and dogs
Knowing that their love is unconditional
And, if they could speak and had thumbs,
That they would care for me if my old bones and addled brain
Fail to allow me to care for myself.

I will hang out in bookstores, sleep late every day,
Go to baseball games
And be glad for the warmth of my cats on the bed at night.
I will write long letters, full of unsolicited advice,
in my own handwriting,
and send them to my relatives,
And I shall knit blankets for each of my friends.

When I am an old woman I shall ride horses
Old horses, like me
They won’t have to go fast because I will want to see
everything that goes by.
I shall stroke my cats and take naps with my dog
I shall incessantly wear a tired rain hat (the tan canvas one),
And take walks in the woods on foggy mornings.

I shall flip the bird to bad drivers and cuss whenever I want to
and I shall drive an old car covered in bumperstickers,
advising those behind me of my opinions.

I shall cut my hair long, and not give a damn if my butt looks big
Or if people think I talk too much
I shall not apologize for inconsequential matters,
Or explain myself to anyone.

Old women can get away with things.

copyright (C) 2008 Dez Crawford

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